Come Back To Me
by lovely13
Summary: Elena has flipped the switch and now she's the on in control. How does is impact everyone around her? And what about her and Damon?
1. Chapter 1

_I'm working on my other story but the things on the show are going down a totally different road and I came up with this. It gave me a break from wracking my brain trying to finish the next chapter on my other story. This is only going to be about five chapters and I already have three and a half done. And if you like it, or you don't leave me a review. Thanks. Xxx _

_Chapter 1 _

_(Elena's P.O.V.)_

I'm somewhere in Pennsylvania. I have no idea what possessed me to drive here. Maybe I just wanted to get lost in the mountains. I don't care how peaceful it looks I just want quite.

I left a note on Damon's bed, well I guess you can say our bed. Just a simple I need time alone, and not to look for me because he wouldn't be able to find me.

It's a lie, we both know it.

He could just ask Bonnie to do some kind of magic, but really he just has to report his car stolen. I must have passed at least a hundred cop cars while I was driving. I have my own car so I'm not entirely sure why I stole his.

Damon won't do either of those. Not _my_ Damon. He knows me. He knows that being smothered is the worst thing for me. He knows what I feel because he's felt it too. He knows me as well as he knows himself. I don't question why. The answer is too easy.

_"A part of you knows you're a lot more like me than him."_

The cold air is refreshing. I almost feel like me without actually having to feel, and it's God damned liberating. I get why Damon liked to live like this. I feel more alive than I have in a long time. Standing here alone, no one breathing down my neck. No one trying to fix me, or save me. Stefan saying we are friends. How the hell are we friends? I just broke his damn heart a few weeks ago. And Caroline? She's been my friend for years and she goes to Stefan and spills my secrets and conspires against me because she doesn't agree with my choices? Bullshit. They are just angry because they couldn't give me what I needed, that I don't think what they think. I'm so sick of the pity, and their fake friendships. Not only do I not need it but I don't want it. I want real. I want to have that person on my side no matter who I am or what I am or how I feel. There is only one person left who gives me real.

**_"Your hiding something, fess up."_**

**_"I didn't sleep with Damon because of the sire bond. I slept with Damon because I'm in love with him."_**

**_"I dare you to tell Stefan the truth about Damon."_**

**_"Being with Damon makes me happy...when I'm with him it feels unpredictable like I'm free."_**

**_"And how do you feel when your with Stefan?"_**

**_"Lately I feel like I'm a project, like I'm a problem that needs to be fixed. I think I make him sad. And I can't be with someone like that because when he looks at me all he sees is a broken toy."_**

**_"Do you still love Stefan?"_**

**_"Yes."_**

**_"Are you still in love with Stefan?"_**

**_"No."_**

I'm on the edge of this snow covered cliff and it's as close to heaven as I'll ever get. I consider taking another step. I want to know what it would feel like to fall to my death. I wonder what my last thought would be. Would I think of my family? Damon? Would I finally be at peace? It doesn't matter. None of it does because even if I throw myself off this cliff I'd still wake up and it would all be the same.

I want to feel bad that Damon will never be able to flip that switch again. I think he knows he won't be able to either. It's true, he cares too much, loves too deeply now to let it all go for selfish reasons. Even if he wants to he still wouldn't. No one else would believe that, but I know Damon. If he has proven anything lately it's that he is no where near as selfish as he wants us to think he is.

The sky is so blue and so clear. There are people all over the world waking up to this new day, and they have families. Even if they aren't blood. One person on your side makes a difference.

_Damon is my difference._

Deep down I know that yet I almost care. Some part of me just can't let him go. That part is so desperate for his love still, and wants to know how he plans on helping me, can he even help me anymore?

The question is moot because it's Damon and he will exhaust every option for me. He wants me to be me, and I think somewhere in me I do too.

But I can't. Not yet.

Does he think he can just make me come back? Of course he does. Fucking sire bond. Except it's always more with Damon. He will make sure I'm ready, strong enough to deal with everything and make it as easy as possible for me. I will give it to him he's the only one with enough balls to do it. No one else would ever even attempt to encourage me to turn it off. They all see me as weak. Not him, never him. He sees me as so much more than I am. I'll never understand why.

Damon gave me up to save me. That's love. It's the truest and most unselfish. Stefan could have never done it. He's no where near as strong as Damon.

And I hate Damon for being so strong.

I'm still me in here and I don't want to give in to him. I fought him for so long before and I will again. I'll fight against his _'I want you to do this, you have to do this Elena'._ It won't make me happy except he thinks it will and somehow that still means something to me.

I'll ask him simple questions...

_'Why?'_

_'Why do you think I'm so strong?'_

_'Why do you want me back so bad when you don't even believe I love you?'_

_'Why do I get to go on? Why should I?'_

I'll be asking Damon for truths I don't even want to hear and he'll give them to me. He always does, because he is always honest. If we like it or not. He gives me the truth even when he doesn't want to hurt me because he can't deny me. Sounds harsh but nothing is more honest. Even if I want him to deny me he won't, and it makes me want to hate him that much more.

But for all the hate I proclaim to have all that breaks through the nothingness and the hate is this love I feel for him. For Damon. I feel it for no one else, nothing else.

That thought alone makes me want to hate him that much more.

That's how I know that my love for Damon was real. If I had any doubts about the sire bond having an influence over my feelings it's diminished. He used the bond to turn everything off. It's the one thing I'm pushing away that I should be holding onto.

It won't budge.

It doesn't make a difference if he's next to me, across town, or three states away.

I thought if I stayed away from him long enough it would go away. So I got into the car and drove. A total of thirty-nine hours away from him and he still won't leave me. Those crystal blue eyes staring back at me when I close my eyes. I know what they are asking. They plead with me to come back to him, to love him.

I don't want to. I just want to be here and be free. And I am except for the eyes that won't go away that keep reminding me what I don't want to feel. I know he used his influence to make it better for me, to make me not care, so why didn't it work for every aspect?

I hate him for all of it.

I make my way back to his car and roll the windows down and I let my hair down. The wind blows it all over and I don't care. I take an unneeded breath and push the pedal further. As much as I don't want to go back I still do. The pedal is to the floor and yet it still doesn't feel fast enough. I don't worry about crashing. I'll survive that now too, use compulsion if necessary. I'm fresh out of these damn feelings everyone keeps ranting about. Including myself.

No one has ever told me about it before. What it feels like to turn everything off. It's nothing like I expected. It feels like a wall with door and a million locks on that door. Everything I don't want out is locked in there. Just how I like it. I still have the memories, I am still me. Just a me that doesn't give a fuck about what everyone else wants. It's about me doing what I want with out caring what everyone else things. It's about not feeling so much, too much all of the time. It's about truth, and I've got tons of them...

_My whole family is dead._

_My brother died trying to help me. _

_I want to find Katherine...and kill her. _

_My house is no more. _

_Everyone still wants to fix me and find the cure. _

_Stefan and all his goody goody talk annoys the hell out of me. _

_Damon was the only one strong enough to tell me to flip the switch. Everyone knows it, but they won't admit it. Especially Stefan. He still thinks that what I feel for Damon is from that stupid shit of a sire bond. Wait until I tell him he's never been more wrong. _

_And I want to fuck Damon more now that I ever have before._


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2_

I pull into the Boarding House and Bonnie sitting on the porch waiting. Her witchy vision probably saw me coming. She is the last thing I need right now. I consider turning right back around but I'd have to face her sooner or later and figure what the hell. I put Damon's car in park, grab my bag and make my way to Bonnie.

"Elena, how do you feel?" She's scared. Scared of me, or scared because of all this new found power? What matters here is that she doesn't use it on me.

"I feel nothing Bonnie."

"Damon's been keeping me posted. He was worried when he couldn't find you."

"You two talk on a daily basis now?"

"He stayed to find me Elena." Bonnie is amazed by it. She's trying to understand why it was him that offered to stay and not Stefan. They were sort of friends. I can see it written all over her face. What kind of a world am I in that Damon and Bonnie not only talk but one where she feels something other than hatred for him. He saved her for me, doesn't she get that? Or does Bonnie finally get that Damon is good?

"Like it mattered."

"It mattered, and it still does. I get why Damon did this. You need time to process and figure things out with out feeling so much grief. When you let it all back in it will matter Elena. I can see it in your eyes right now. Somehow what I said still affects you."

"All you see in my eyes Bonnie is how bored I am with this conversation and where it's going."

"Your lying."

"No Bonnie. You are lying to yourself. You think you see something, you don't. Your guilty conscience is eating you alive. You are the one that Shane used, you are the reason that Jeremy died. He may have been there to help me find the cure but he would have died to protect you. Jeremy was with you, why didn't you save him? He loved you Bonnie, and you couldn't forgive him. He died without your forgiveness. So don't come here and try to placate me. I don't need you pity. I don't want your help. I am fine, and where Damon is concerned you are not. You were never on my side when it came to Damon, I had to save him from you. You hated him, wanted him dead and now what? What Bonnie?"

I can practically see her heart breaking from my words. She looks like her best friend punched her in the face. Maybe she did.

"You don't mean that Elena. I know you don't, so I'm going to ignore it. Jeremy dying was Katherine's fault. He loved me, and your right I never told him I forgave him. We were in a good place Elena. He knew I still loved him. Your right I was never on your side about Damon but things change. They did for you where Damon is _concerned_ didn't they? I finally saw how good he could be, how selfless. My point here is I know you, and I know it will matter that he didn't abandon be. I kno what I saw Elena."

"All you see is me figuring out this damn switch."

"What do you mean figuring it out? I thought you turned it off and that was that?" Shit, I really have got to learn to filter things. There is only one thing to do. I use my new super hearing to see if anyone else is here, and when I hear nothing. I lie.

"Clearly Damon is up to something. Trying to keep himself in my head, reminding me about our feelings for each other. It's annoying." Even now it feels so wrong to say it. Damon would never use me. Maybe he wanted to when we first met, but not now. Not ever again.

"Maybe it's because it was real. You recognize the love you have for him, don't you? He's your link." She stands up and she is in my face like she's trying to read my mind and I know she can't do that. She still has tears falling from her eyes. They use to mean something to me.

"Link to what?"

"I have to go."

"Whatever." Really, whatever. I don't care if she's still crying I'm just glad she's gone.

Bonnie texts Damon before she even puts her car in park. She asks him to meet her at the grill, and lucky for her he agrees. She thinks he's probably already there and drunk. She makes it there in record time, and when she walks in he is facing the door. She knows immediately that he is hoping this is about Elena, of the cure. She nods to him to the booth and they both make their way towards it.

"What's the emergency Bonnie?"

"I think Elena loves you." She just blurts it out. It's her best option. She is almost certain that Damon is the only one that can bring her friend back with out losing her to a metal ward. His eyes go wide, and she can see how much he wants to believe her. There is nothing but love in his eyes, just for a second though, he steels it off so quickly.

"Elena loves doing whatever Elena wants right now."

"Maybe but Elena, my best friend, our Elena, _your_ Elena feels something. For _you_."

"How did you come up with that crap?"

"I talked to her. Every time I said your name there was a flicker of something in her eyes Damon. And then she went on this tirade defending you for no reason. You are the link to her humanity Damon. You have to use it to help her."

"So because of some flicker in her eyes you think I can make it better?"

"Damon she said she was trying to figure out how the switch worked and then blamed whatever was going on in her head on you. That whatever that is reminding her of her feelings for you is her heart. Maybe her head has everything shut off but her heart doesn't."

"I'm the one that had her turn it off."

"Yes, but you did it to help her. We didn't know how to help her then. You are what can help her Damon. To still have these feelings through the sire bond you invoked means everything Damon."

She can tell she hit a nerve when he refuses to look her in the eyes. He stares at his drink for what seems like hours. She knows how much he wants Elena back, she can tell how much he misses her. It has only been a little over three weeks but the toll it has taken on Damon isn't lost on anyone. He spends his days making sure she doesn't kill anyone, cleans up her messes, and then uses his nights to get so drunk he passes out random places. Caroline has told her he refuses to sleep in their bed when Elena is there. Stefan has said that he won't make any eye contact with her. She understands it. It's Elena but not Elena at all.

"I'll see what I can do. I'll get her out of town."

"Not the lake house."

"Wasn't my choice. We are going to Atlanta."

"Atlanta?"

"Did she not tell you about our road trip there?"

"That's right." Elena never told her and Caroline where they went. Just that it was a road trip. One where she saw a different side of Damon. Bonnie remembers that after that trip is when Elena and Damon became friends. His choice is perfect.

"Thanks for coming to me Bonnie. Blondie and Broody never would have."

"It was the right choice Damon. Believe you are the right choice." She wants him to catch on to her double meaning, and when he gives her a half smile she feels relief. If Damon was going to get Elena back he had to believe it and believe in himself.

"Better get going. I have a blood bank to rob, a suitcase to pack and an Elena to kidnap. Again."

Bonnie laughs for the first time since Jeremy died. It hits her then that maybe Elena always went to Damon because he could always make her feel better. Make her feel with out it having to be forced.

"Damon?" She calls out before they get into their cars. She owes him a thank you. That much is obvious, and when he looks up she knows exactly what to say.

"Don't think I haven't noticed you call me by my name."

"Don't worry it will pass." Damon smiles at her and she can't help but to smile back.

"Regardless, thank you for staying to bring me back. Even if you only did it for Elena it still means something to me."

"Hey judgy?" Of course, she thinks as she rolls her eyes at him.

"I wouldn't have just left you there. I'm glad your okay."

"Thank you Damon."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Elena's little chit-chat with Bonnie has got her all riled up. She knows who she'd like to go at it with (pun absolutely intended and not at all). Pretty much anything thing with him made her feel good. Except he's not here right now and Stefan is. She figures he will have to do.

"Your back. Did Damon find you?"

"I came back on my own. I told him I needed space."

"And he actually listened?" Stefan watches her pour a glass of his brothers bourbon. He wonders when that became her go to drink. His Elena used to like beer. He wants to think it's the sire bond, but he knows better. He doesn't have to wonder when she became so much like Damon. He remembers it clearly. The night Damon brought her home from the hospital after the gym incident she was drinking bourbon, Damon had stepped in front of her, and she let him shield her from the person she should have been trying to reach. Ever since then it's been the drink she used to calm her nerves, he's been the person to calm her nerves. Deep down he knows it's a Damon and Elena thing. Just another thing to add to the list that ties them together.

"Of course he did." She knows damn well that he knows Damon would do pretty much anything she asks of him.

"He never did."

"Things are different." And they are. Different that anyone could have ever expected.

"Things are different or you and Damon are different?"

"I'm not yours anymore Stefan." She wants to hurt him and it's strange to her. She has never intentionally wanted to hurt someone before. Especially this person she used to love.

"Sometimes I wonder if you were ever mine at all."

"I was once upon a time. I was even in love with you."

She watches Stefan study her as she pours another drink. He makes his way over to her. Elena can sense right away he's trying to reach her. Not just her humanity, but his human Elena.

"But not anymore, right?"

She just looks at him, she tries to give him her best Damon smirk. She figures silence is her best weapon right now.

To Stefan her silence speaks loudly.

"Can I ask you something Stefan?"

"Sure."

"Why is it so impossible for you to believe I had feelings for Damon?"

"Damon asked me the same thing."

"And what did you tell him?"

"Elena-"

She can read Stefan like a book. He was cruel to Damon. She sees it in his eyes.

"What did you tell him Stefan?"

Her voice is demanding and harsh. He has no clue who Elena is anymore, how to handle her.

"I told him it was impossible for you not to see how wrong he is for you."

"Fuck you Stefan."

"Elena I was just trying to make him understand-"

"Understand what? That he has never ever left my side? That he has stayed loyal to me when you never could? He stepped in for you when you were off with Klaus. He was my friend, he helped Jeremy, saved Caroline from a werewolf bite. He stayed behind to find Bonnie for me. Why do all of you people forget the good? Don't think I forget the bad either, I know you do. He screwed with Caroline's head, and he snapped Jeremy's neck, Ric too, and fed me his blood. He has screwed up royally many times, but he makes up for it in colossal ways. He loves me in ways that you never could. He loves me human or vampire. He loves me like this. You can't accept anything but human fragile repressed Elena. Sorry to be the barer of bad news but she is never coming back. Especially to you."

For the first time in weeks Stefan sees something in her. It's not lost on him that he's only seeing it because she is defending about Damon. She's not trying to sugar coat things, to make him seem like the good guy. She's simply saying the truth. He sees it all, yet he doesn't want to see anything at all.

"This isn't you Elena."

"I'm still me Stefan. Damon knows it and I know somewhere in you so do you. You both flipped that switch. You know how it works. Want to know something you don't know? Damon used the sire bond to get me to turn it off, I don't care if I hurt someones feelings. I don't have to worry. No more guilt Stefan. You know what that means? The sire bond doesn't affect me at all. I don't care about making Damon happy. If it isn't blatantly obvious through recent failed attempts. The only person I want to be happy is me."

"So the only way for you not to be sired is for you to keep it turned off?"

"If I choose to turn it back on I could care less about the sire bond anymore. I know how I felt Stefan. I know what was real."

"And how did you feel Elena?" Stefan knows that this is it. His worst fears are about to be confirmed. A part of him has known this for weeks but he's not prepared in the least to have it said out loud.

She walks up to Stefan and takes his face in her hands. She caress his cheek and smiles at him.

"It was all real. I loved him. It's not impossible. What's impossible to believe is that it took me so long to admit it. Every time I made love to him was because I wanted to, because I loved him. Swallow that pill."

She backs away and watches Stefan's shell shocked face before grabbing her handbag to make a grand exit. But she freezes before taking another step. It's her who is shell shocked now. Damon is standing there, and she knows he heard everything. His face is pained and he tries to mask over the relief he is clearly feeling. She just gave him everything he wanted and yet she still can't give him anything at all.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

She's laying there. Hair fanned out on the pillow, looking so innocent, and God damn all he wants to do is to touch her, to hold her. Except he can't. Because she isn't really her. In so many ways she is and yet in the most important ways she isn't. Her eyes give it all away. His Elena's eyes are warm and loving, this Elena's eyes are empty and cold. She starts to stir and he prepares himself for war. That's all it is with her anymore.

"You fucking vervained me?"

"You left me no choice." He sits back in the desk chair and pours himself a glass bourbon. He's going to need it.

"No choice? Bullshit. You walked in on Stefan and I got jealous."

"What kind of shit are you spinning in that head of yours pretty girl?"

"Just truth Damon."

"Maybe you really are out of your mind. I heard every word you said."

"You know it was just a lie, don't you? I just wanted Stefan to hurt and using you to do it was the easiest way."

Honestly he doesn't know what she's even telling the truth about these days. He does know that even human Elena loved him in some way. Even if it was just as a friend and she would never hurt him with the malice this Elena is.

"Bullshit. You never expected me to be there. Maybe you wanted to hurt him but you used the truth to do it."

"You have no idea what I feel Damon."

"I have never really known how you felt Elena now, have I? I just know what I heard."

"And what? You think some silly confession that I said means that I do love you? Damon I lied. I don't love you."

"Maybe you don't. It doesn't matter."

"Of course it does. You want me to love you so bad you will take me any way you can get me. Sadly, even like this there is only one way I really want you."

"You wound me Elena. I don't want you like this. This isn't who you are."

"You mean this isn't the girl you love."

"Your still the girl I love. Nothing can change that, but the way your acting isn't who you are." He practically yells at her. Somehow almost every time he tells her he loves her it's in anger.

"Maybe that girl was just a lie." He sees her face fall and he wonders that maybe just maybe Bonnie was right. Something flickers in her eyes that he can't pin point. All he knows is that is was at his confession of love. Elena loves her friends and family with everything she is. Hell she even loves strangers and homeless animals. Love is the key to breaking Elena, to bringing her back to him. To all of them.

"What is it with you and your truths and lies these days?"

"It's all I got."

"It's not."

"Where are we Damon?"

"Now I really am hurt. You don't recognize this place?"

He watches her looks around the hotel room and realization dawns quickly.

"You brought me to Atlanta!?"

"I did."

"Is this some sort of intervention? It won't work. I can just walk out the door. You should have locked me in that basement of yours."

"Elena, I am not a stupid man. I have a plan and a back-up plan. First of all you don't have your daylight ring."

"Where is it?"

"Some place out there in the sun."

"I can just leave when it gets dark."

"No you won't."

"Try me."

"Did you know Bonnie and I are on decent terms these days?"

"What does that mean Damon?"

"It means you can try leaving this room, but you won't make it out the door. Or window. Take your pick, try it out. I'm up for a good laugh. Bonnie is stronger than I gave her credit for."

"What did you do Damon?"

"I asked for a favor. She owed me. I looked for her on that island for hours. Feet were sore and all."

"Damon!"

"If I can't leave this room why did you bother taking my ring?"

"Because I needed to be sure you couldn't get out first. By all means test it out."

"Keeping me here in the dark alone is not going to change anything. I will still hate you Damon."

"Turn a lamp on if it's too dark. And Elena, you can't hate me forever. You proved that over and over and over."

"How long are we stuck here?"

"Until the next full moon. Seventy-two hours. Witch is something else."

She sits back on the bed and stares at him like it's going to get her somewhere.

"Why did you bring me here of all places Damon?"

"Because."

"Because why? I'm here for a reason obviously. Might as well tell me now. It's not like we can go anywhere."

"Because this place means something to us. It's where you first trusted me. It's where we first started to get along. It's the first time you decided I was worth saving."

"And why does any of this matter? I'm not her." He hears the crack in her voice. He knows she's fighting that inner battle right now. He's had it millions of times.

"Because I need you back. Your still her, just different. There is nothing wrong with that."

"Why? All that knowing me has ever done for you is brought you trouble."

"I. Love. You. You saved me Elena. It's my turn to save you."

"And if I don't want to be saved?"

"I'll try any way."

She has no reply and after a few minutes she makes her move. She kneels down in front of him and runs her fingers down his chest.

"I know how we can make the time go faster."

"Sleep? I could use a few hours. Blood is in the fridge. There's no vervain, and if you think stabbing me with any of this wood remember I am older therefore my hearing is superb and I am much stronger."

"I was thinking something along the lines of a hot shower. We could conserve water?"

"Nah." He pushes her away and walks over to the bed. He mentally kicks himself. One bed. He wanted the same room as before. Before, when she wasn't so willing and actually had feelings.

"Skip it? Go straight to the bed?"

"Elena..."

"Damon. I know you want this. You want me. It's okay. I want you this way too."

"No. You don't. You want to manipulate me, and then use it against me."

"Your over thinking this. The sire bond is gone. There is no more taking advantage. I. Want. To. Fuck. You."

He wants to touch her and this time he does. He tucks her hair behind her ears and his fingers brush her cheek. Elena leans into him and it takes everything in him to pull away.

"I can't just fuck you. Not like this."

"God you are worse than your brother."

_"There's still hope." _Those words of hers resonate in his head. It's all he can think these days.

"Yeah, well. Hope is a bitch."


End file.
